I was a prostitute in the escort services in LAS VEGAS, (the public calls it "HIGH CLASS CALL GIRL") in the casinos, on the street, and I was an exotic dancer in the clubs. I did everything that you can imagine, saw and met people that I would never have thought would have even "ordered" a girl. MANY of them were very famous stars and influential people in society... I lived this lifestyle for over 11 years... and it just didn't happen overnight.
I was actually a "goodie two shoes" when I was growing up, I got very good grades in school and I always followed the "rules"--in fact you would considered me a "type A" personality. So how did the "good girl" eventually turn into a "bad girl"?
It all started when I was a little girl. I never felt really loved; there was abuse in my childhood that lowered my self-esteem to the degree that I became desperate for love. I tell you, I felt very rejected and broken-hearted all the time. When you are told a certain thing you are as a child, you tend to believe it. Point blank, I couldn't love my self, and did not think anyone else loved me. I didn't feel that I deserved it.
My first sexual experience happened with a close friend of mine when I was eight years old. I didn't know this was abuse at the time, but the truth of the matter is that I was violated. As a "family duty" I went to church every week, but because of the hypocrisy in the church and in my home, I couldn't really believe God was kind, so I hid my secret and feelings inside me. I also assumed that if God was somehow real, He was very angry at me! In other words... I imagined God with a big hammer getting ready to smash me if I did something wrong! I started to RESENT GOD and especially THE CHURCH...I could not trust anyone!
Relationships? Huh!!! Couldn't manage to keep ANY because I was so messed up on the inside. As I grew up, I went to seven different schools because our family moved around so much. It was very difficult, and coming to each school as the "new" girl wearing garage sale clothing...well let's just say that kids back then could be very cruel if you were not rich, popular, and "perfect." A lot of the time, I felt very "rejected".
In high school it was considered "cool" to have sex. Even though this seemed true, I was still a virgin at 18. Annie Lobert.
Diposting oleh Hadi Kristadi untuk PENTAS KESAKSIAN
http://pentas-kesaksian.blogspot.com